For anyone attempting to bluff their way as a Middle Class person, this is the it: the acid test, the deal-breaker, the ultimate short hand way of accruing those essential points. Think of it as your access all areas pass to backstage bourgeois success. Anyone who does not listen to Radio 4 cannot be Middle Class - others will notice, and you will fail.
For the uninitiated, Radio 4 is a BBC talk radio station that caters exclusively for the liberal chattering classes. It's programmes often deliberately sound vaguely academic and obscure, in order to satisfy its' listeners need for Supper Party conversation starters. A typical schedule in one day might include items on Ottoman Empire pottery, String Theory, ASBO's and obesity, and the effect of divorce rates on property prices in northern England.
These items are interspersed with regular programmes that have a vocal fan base, dedicated to the point of personality disorder. Most notable of these is the interminable rural soap The Archers, which rabid listeners occasionally confuse with real life.
The second key reference is the pointlessly shouty Today Programme, in which aging broadcasting alpha males interrupt politicians with irrelevant questions they've been fed through an ear piece, until everybody weeps hot tears of despair over the future of ring-fenced funding for playing fields in the borough of Tower Hamlets.
An easy way to impress a new Middle Class acquaintance who may be suspicious that you do not have the right credentials, is to make a casual reference to something you heard on Radio 4. This should have some relevance to your environment, and make it clear in an understated way that you are something of an intellectual. Double points if it also references another key Middle Class theme, such as locally produced food or standards of education.
For example, while at the cheese stall of your local Farmers' Market, you might make a casual reference to a programme you heard about the influence of large supermarket purchasing power on traditional methods of sheep rearing in the Cotswolds.
Other key phrases to remember for emergencies:
"Did you hear the Duchess of Cornwall on the Archers? I can't believe they closed the Post Office in Ambridge for her visit, it's hard enough to access key services in rural areas these days."
"I thoroughly enjoyed John Humphreys giving the Secretary for Transport a grilling this week on the Today Programme. Fuel prices are a scandal - and i can hardly see us managing the school run on public transport..."
If in doubt at any point, make a sneering reference to Chris Moyles.
Middle Class Points accrued by listening to Radio 4: 10
